Portland Public Library

I suck at girls, Justin Halpern

eng

autobiography

no index present

non fiction

I suck at girls

785015684

Justin Halpern

Presents a humorous collection of stories about the author's relationships with the opposite sex told chronologically, from his first kiss to getting engaged

You could probably be happily married to a hundred and fifty million different women -- I like it -- When you're married, your wife sees your penis -- You will never screw a woman who looks like that -- Sometimes you have to be hurled off a diving board against your will -- Could you please hand me that bottle of Peppermint Schnapps? -- You are good at sit down -- A man takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes -- Give the rabbit its pain medication -- I'd rather not see you sitting next to me on a Friday night -- Don't make me take up residence in your fantasy land -- Do you know what makes a shitty scientist?